literature

Prologue Chapter 1 Excerpt

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Literature Text


Chapter One
I


The stillness of the Void was deafening, but, even in this dark abyss, a sharp ripping noise was soon audible throughout the darkness.  As the noise spread throughout the pristine plane, the rift in space-time widened enough that, in a flash, a muscular arm erupted forth from the gaping hole.  Following this first intrusion came the interloper's brother, which was armed with an elegant claw.  Ripping open a second rift near the first, the two muscular siblings joined together and, widening the hole, allowed their owner through.

And thus was our universe born, and, through the application of Order over the teeming mass of Chaos, it began to stabilize; its creator was known in the mortal tongue as Epspii, Lord of Mortality and Order.  Though there are not terms that would begin to truly describe how he looks, I can relate that he has a very pleasing appearance.  Adorned in the clothing that he was given at his own birth, Lord Epspii truly stood out among the emptiness of the shadowy abyss.  And, though he was a mighty being, he could not have made our world the way it is through his actions alone.
This is what has become of my story The Soulkeeper Saga so far.  Here is a small snippet of the first chapter of the Prologue!

Any sort of feedback would be greatly appreciated!  This includes whether you like it or not, as well as feedback on specific parts.
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Lilithmae1231's avatar
Hmm, interesting.

I take issue with this sentence, though: Though there are not terms that would begin to truly describe his appearance, I can relate that he has a very pleasing appearance. That second 'appearance' seems a little redundant.